People reciprocate. It’s human nature.
It’s also one of my philosophies in life.
I don’t know if this is true for most people, but I was never exactly taught how to build relationships. I just lived and relationships happened. I’ve learned the hard way that you have to be more thoughtful, intentional and disciplined to build great relationships. You have to invest in relationships. You have to be there for friends, family, and co-workers. Help them when they need help. Support them when they support. In other words, be a giver.
I keep a little journal in Apple Notes with my favorite quotes. Here is one of them:
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
This quote emphasizes the importance of giving and contributing to others as a fundamental aspect of a meaningful and fulfilling life. It resonates with me for sure. I’ve realized that the richness of life comes not just from what we receive, but from what we are willing to give to others. It’s a simple guiding principle: be a giver, not a taker.
Reciprocity
This reciprocity helps build relationships, foster cooperation, and establish trust. Relationships become stronger. You get the support and help when you need it. And in tough times you get the love that you need.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of takers in the world too. We’ve probably all had them in our lives and still do. But fundamentally, when someone does something for us, we often feel an innate obligation to return the favor, creating a sense of balance and fairness in our interactions.
Having amazing relationships in itself is reason enough to be a giver. But what I’ve also realized is that most people tend to reciprocate in very valuable ways. This can especially be true in the work environment. Your team will reciprocate with hard work, going the extra mile, answering the call, and fighting fires. If you’ve been there for them, they’ll be there for you. If you’ve given to them, they’ll give back.
Philospohy Of Life
This guiding principle, that people reciprocate, has served me well in life, both in my personal life and in my career. There have been numerous times when a manager or someone on my team was amazingly supportive, helping in ways I did not expect.
If you’re hearing things like “it’s the least I can do” , “I owe you”, and “you were there for me”, you’ve been a giver.
Be a giver… people reciprocate.
APPENDIX
I asked ChatGPT, why do people reciprocate? Here’s the response.
Reciprocation is a fundamental aspect of human social behavior and is rooted in various psychological and sociological principles. Here are some reasons why people tend to reciprocate:
- Social Norms and Expectations: Societal norms often dictate that individuals should reciprocate kind or generous actions. Failing to reciprocate may be perceived as a breach of social expectations.
- Mutual Benefit: Reciprocation is a way for individuals to establish and maintain mutually beneficial relationships. By reciprocating, people contribute to a sense of fairness and equity, fostering positive interactions.
- Building Trust: Reciprocating positive actions can help build trust among individuals. When someone demonstrates reliability and reciprocates gestures of goodwill, it contributes to the development of trust within relationships.
- Altruism: Some people reciprocate because of an intrinsic desire to help others without expecting anything in return. Altruistic behavior is driven by a genuine concern for the well-being of others.
- Social Exchange Theory: This theory suggests that individuals engage in social interactions with the expectation of receiving rewards and avoiding punishments. Reciprocation is a mechanism that helps maintain balance and fairness in these exchanges.
- Emotional Connection: Reciprocating positive actions can strengthen emotional bonds between individuals. When people reciprocate kindness, it enhances feelings of connection and camaraderie.
- Cultural Influences: Cultural values and norms play a significant role in shaping reciprocation patterns. In some cultures, reciprocation is highly emphasized and considered a fundamental aspect of social interactions.
- Reciprocity as a Social Skill: Reciprocation can be seen as a social skill that individuals develop to navigate complex social networks successfully. Knowing how and when to reciprocate contributes to social competence.
- Psychological Rewards: Reciprocating positive actions may lead to psychological rewards, such as a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, or a boost in self-esteem. These internal rewards motivate individuals to engage in reciprocal behavior.
- Norm of Reciprocity: The norm of reciprocity is a psychological principle that suggests people feel a social obligation to return a favor. This norm is ingrained in many cultures and contributes to the widespread tendency to reciprocate.
In summary, reciprocation is a multifaceted phenomenon influenced by social, cultural, psychological, and emotional factors. It serves as a mechanism for building and maintaining social bonds, fostering cooperation, and contributing to the overall well-being of individuals and communities.
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